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Greed Drabble

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Feb. 12th, 2006 | 08:18 pm

Title:  That First Night

Fandom:  Fullmetal Alchemist

Rating:  T

Summary:  A Sin's creation is no walk in the park, and Greed is no exception....

Disclaimer:  I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist.

That First Night

When consciousness finally reigned supreme, when the Homunculus could see beyond the bloody mist, he found himself clinging to some desk of great elegance, although the elegance meant nothing to him, it was solid, it was firm...that was what mattered to him. That, and the woman, even if she looked kinda scary. She was just standing there, a young thing garbed in nothing dramatic like pure white or utter darkness, just a plain dress colored some shade of green. Just standing there, her dark eyes probing him, picking and prodding, cooly examining the flaws he knew were there; the flaws were there in the streams of blood still splattered on his face, they were there in the excess of tears and sweat, in the abnormality of his fangs, in the deathly white of the flesh that wasn't quite right, in the wide violet eyes that saw too much--everything was wrong.

His breathes came in shearing gasps, but they were comforting to the Homunculus; they felt right--

"Greed." The Homunculus would rather have not learned his name at all, if it meant he wouldn't have been forced to hear her voice, which was more frightening than everything else about her; the woman's voice had a--it had an ownership over him....

"Eat these." The woman offered a small leather pouch, and Greed found himself accepting it in curiosity, and then thanking her in politeness and genuine gratefulness; maybe she wasn't so bad, perhaps he was just being impulsive. Gingerly plucking out a crimson jewel, Greed never noticed the brief break in the woman's ice, the eyes shocked by his meek "thank you". He never noticed her disgusted sneer thereafter. The Homunculus just softly licked the stone, before finally popping it into his mouth, chewing thoughtfully.

Then everything went horribly wrong.

Once the jewel had been fully dissolved in his fanged mouth, his right arm vanished. Or it felt like it vanished; it was certainly numb, but a loud BANG! indicated it had struck something hard, but again--the numbness. Greed's teeth clenched as he observed his right arm, the sickening dark blue creeping further and further up; they clenched further as he heard a delighted gasp from the woman. Amusing, was it? Amusing that this blue crap was violating his entire body? Because it was violating all of it; the sick blue didn't stop with his right arm, it went to his left, and he could see it rise up his legs, up his chest, it was sealing everything off from the air, from the very sensation of touch....

The Homunculus felt the urge to whimper, but he fought it down, at least until the dark blue began crawling up his neck, finally cutting off his face--then, he not only whimpered, but completely lost his grip, and fell brokenly to the floor, taking all his will just to gather his sliced-off limbs into himself, all curled up and weak. Greed couldn't breath, he couldn't breath, not at all, no breathing, oh god, he couldn't breath, no matter how hard he tried, no matter how hard he wished, no matter how hard he prayed, no matter how hard he whimpered....

And the blood-stained symbols on the floor--they formed an alchemic array, he'd learn the word soon--seemed to be laughing at him as they pressed against his face, the one that couldn't feel a damn thing.

"Fascinating." Her impersonal flick against his blue prison echoed into his mind, banging it around. "Such hardness, carbon bonds must be altered in a fashion...." He didn't give a damn about carbon, he just wanted out, wanted this shield to leave him alone, so that he may touch the world....

"--must depend on its emotions and mental capacities...." He gave a damn about that, and Greed tried utilizing his will power differently, in a more focused and finely-tuned way, all the while ignoring the woman's reference to him as "it".... Concentrate, tell the shield to go away, concentrate, tell the shield to go away, concentrate, tell the shield to go away, concentrate, tell the shield to go away, concentrate, tell the shield to go away, concentrate, tell--

Greed happily gulped in air once his flesh was devoid of any blue, and he laughed so hard it hurt, but in a good way. So busy laughing, actually laughing himself into exhausted slumber, the Homunculus was again oblivious to another break in the woman's ice, a peculiar look in her dark eyes as she watched him sleep.

"Dante?" The voice wasn't in the room, just outside the door, as if too puzzled to enter; and yet, the voice's owner had his own peculiar look in his eyes as he observed from behind the glasses.

"Don't give me that look Hoenheim," replied Dante blankly, never taking her eyes off the Homunculus who slumbered so innocently. "I'll start breaking him tomorrow." She giggled a little after that, already imagining the screams Greed would make, Hoenheim glaring at her with a dark, yet strangely indifferent venom.

The Homunculus curled into himself further, his smile growing a little wider, his breaths coming in perfectly.

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Comments {6}

Telle

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from: 47thlight
date: Feb. 14th, 2006 03:24 am (UTC)
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Oooo, definately a wonderful way to look at the creation of Greed! I had been thinking about looking into a ficlet concerning such - I need not look further! ^_^

The description was very crisp and real, something a lot of stories lack these days. You really helped create an atmosphere of sympathy for Greed on his part as you described the first time his shield activated. I had never considered the shock he would go through once he first noticed that power, and the way you interpreted it by explaining that his air supply was cut off was very, very original. Loved the way you played it all out in the end, too!

I just have a couple bits of critiquing for you. I'm a grammar nut, so I nitpick at spelling errors. Here are the only two I found:

His breathes came in shearing gasps - "breathes" should be breaths

Greed couldn't breath, he couldn't breath - "breath" should be "breathe"

All in all, a delightful little piece of work! You've done Greed proud, my dear!

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The Eminent Sage and Junkie

(no subject)

from: theladyfeylene
date: Feb. 21st, 2006 02:29 am (UTC)
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You really do have a wonderful grasp on Greed, even here, in such an early stage. You have quite a knack for writing his character. You've got good description here, very clear and precise. Nothing's too cluttered or convoluted, very well done. There's a nice over-all flow, only a couple of small typoes, all in all a very tight and neat piece of work!

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(no subject)

from: momoiro_usagi
date: Mar. 26th, 2006 08:49 am (UTC)
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wow! really nice job on this! The descriptions are beautiful, and I can already tell this story is going to be unique...I love pre-series stuff with Dante and Hoho and the sins. It's so interesting to me! I think this is one of your first pieces I've read...and I was not disappointed in the least! Great work, hun! I'm going to read part two now!

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Mara

(no subject)

from: jadedsilk
date: May. 9th, 2006 06:37 pm (UTC)
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That was nicely done, and not overdone. It makes me curious as to what you will write next. I like the way you handle greed. ^_^

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(no subject)

from: lilfmagurl
date: Jun. 8th, 2006 12:35 am (UTC)
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I really like it, great job ^_^ it's really awesome.

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Velvet Mace

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from: velvet_mace
date: Jun. 9th, 2006 07:21 pm (UTC)
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Mmmmmm.... The plot has me utterly intrigued!

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